Fun with the Daedric Princes
by KanetsuguNaoe
Summary: Molag Bal and Sheogorath decide to have some fun with there siblings. Rated M for swearing. Some Yaoi content because of Bal. that perv. AU.
1. The insainty begins

This is a funny idea that me and some of my friends had planned awhile ago. Before we start, I'll give you a few notes.

Molag Bal- Is totally hot. In all his statues, he appears as this...jackal thingy. His human form however, makes him into a handsome, gothic young man with jackal ears.

Sheogorath- He's pretty much the same. Still crazy.

This is completely AU and only here for entertainment. So don't come yelling at me while I have my fun.

I do not own Elder Scrolls. Do NOT sue me. I have no money.

Chapter 1- The insanity begins...

Molag Bal was bored. So very bored. His worshipers weren't doing anything interesting at all. They sacrificed innocents, killed themselves, prayed to him endlessly and pissed him off to no end. They were so bitchy and complained too much. "I'm cold." "This is stupid." "How do we even know he exists?" "Do you think he's cute?" He cute comment had pissed him off the most. He was a Daedric prince for Oblivion's sake! He was NOT cute! Down right sexy and evil, but not cute. He reminded himself to destroy them all later in a blaze of un-holy hell fire.

He sat on his throne and sighed. There was no one attractive enough to suduce in his own plane of Oblivion. There was no one here that he had to fight for. Anyone he wanted he would Rape and they would allow him to do so without a fight. Boring.

"OI!!!! BROTHER BAL!!!!"

Molag Bal rolled his eyes and looked up at the celing of his palace for the owner of that strange and utterly rediciulous accent. Sheogorath stood upsidedown on the celing and waved cheerfully. Molag Bal crossed his legs and rested his head on his palm while looking up at the prince of Madness.

"Sheo. Get down here. You know I hate talking to you when you do this."

Within seconds, Sheogorath made contact with the floor with a skull shattering impact. Molag Bal winced at the sound. He never knew why Sheogorath had to do it like that each time he paid him a visit. Despite his brothers antics, Molag Bal was not amused. He got up and kicked Sheogorath's head slightly with his heeled boot.

"Get up Sheo. I'm not in the mood."

Sheogorath lifted himself easily and smiled a bit mockingly. "What's a matter Bal? Got a stick shoved up your keester?"

Molag Bal growled. "You'd do well not to mock me in my plane of Oblivion, Sheogorath."

He ignored him and tried to balance his cane on his open palm. "I'm just as bored as you are Bal. No need to get all defnsive on me." He grinned and did a little dance in place.

Molag Bal raised a slender eyebrow but had learned not to question Sheogorath anymore. If the little retard felt like dancing, then why the hell not. Let him dance. No matter how horrible it was. "How did you know I was bored."

"I've been watching you for about twenty minutes now. I can only assume you were bored, becuse you kept sighing and mumbling under your breath!" he stopped dancing and smiled innconetly.

Molag Bal swore under his breath. "What do you want?"

"To have fun." Was the Mad god's reply. "We could mess around and watch the rats. I hear they race well this season!"

"I think I'll pass on watching rat racing. Thanks anyway."

Sheogorath frowned. "Well I just don't want to sit around all day like you have." He strached his beard, in apparent deep thought. "Do you have something blunt, Bal?"

"Wha?"

"You know, you know... A blunt object."

Molag Bal blinked. "My Mace."

"Jolly good!" Hand it over."

"...Why?"

"Just give it to me Bal! Quick before the idea goes away!"

Molag Bal shrugged and produced his mace.Then handed it over to Sheogorath. He watched silently as Shogorath lifted the mace, then hit himself in the head with it. Quite hard too. It was burried into his skull ans Molag Bal would see some of his brain.

"I GOT IT!!!" Sheogorath yelled and pulled the mace free. His head instantly healed. Then he handed the bloody mace back to Molag Bal. The prince of Rape grimmanced and cast his mace aside for now. He'd have to clean it later.

"Got what, Sheo?" He dared to ask.

"An idea!"

Silence followed his words. Molag Bal was starring at him. Waiting for more. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"What's the idea?"

"Holy moley. I had an idea?"

Molag Bal blinnked again. "Rightttttt... Why don't you go back to the shivering isles, Sheo. They are missing their village idiot."

"Who, Balen? He was there when I left. Poor Balen. do you know where he's gotten to, brother Bal?"

Molag Bal waved his hand in dismissal. "Forget it."

"Okay. Hold please." Sheogorath was starring blankly at the wall,until a small smile slipped onto his face. "There. It's forgotten. What were we talking about again, Bal?"

"About how you annoy me to no end."

"Really? I don't recall comming here to tell you that. I thought I came here to tell you about my plan to mess with the other daedra."

That caught Molag Bal's attention. "That sounds like fun."

"Ta! I knew you'd be interested! besides old Sanguine, you're the only Daedra who likes to have fun with me!"

"Becuse no one else can stand you, Sheo."

"Maybe your right. Maybe your wrong. who knows!"

Molag Bal grabbed Sheogorath by the shoulders and forched the smaller man to look at him. "How right you are, sweet brother." That evil grin came to Molag Bal's face and he dug his long claw-like fingers into Sheogorath's shoulder. "Who shall we play with first?"

End of chapter 1.

Uhoh. please forgive any spelling errors I might have made. I am at a friends home and don't have my beloved spell check. The other chapters will be better.


	2. condoms and Wow

Disclaimer- I do not own! Ta!

Chapter 2- Condoms and Wow

Molag Bal blinked a bit when Sheogorath handed him the package. These were those bloody things that he refused to wear. It was un-natural and inhumane.

"Condoms?" He finally asked. "How are we going to mess with the other Daedra princes with these things?"

Sheogorath grinned and shrugged. "You tell me. You have the box."

"Because you handed me the box!"

"Now why on earth would I hand you condoms? You're talking crazy Bal."

Molag Bal slapped himself in the head to stop himself from hitting Sheogorath. This whole conversation was leading him in circles.

"I'm starting to get annoyed."

"Ah! Don't Bal. Lighten up! Here have some cheese!"

Molag Bal growled at the magical cheese that Sheogorath produced, seemingly out of nowhere. "Get that shit away from me."

"Don't be a crab, Bal. That's Mora's job. It's not my fault that you hate condoms."

Molag Bal huffed. "I don't hate them. I just don't see the purpose of their existence." He opened the box and pulled one out. "I mean, all they do is make sex feel strange. Not to mention they hurt your dick."

"They stop babies, I heard."

Molag Bal rolled his eyes. "What's wrong with children? I have plenty. Sure, most of them are pains in the assess, but they still gather worshipers and do my work in the human realm."

"Yes, yes. I suppose having children is okay…That is unless you have them with a member of the Tribunal."

Molag Bal visibly stiffened. "Don't you dare."

"Ah! I can remember it all now! That wedding was absolutely the funniest thing I've ever witnessed. You looked dashing, brother Bal. You're bride however…"

"You'd be smart to stop right there, Sheo…."

"She was a fine lass. Or, should I say he…"

"Sheo…." It was the last warning.

"That Vivec was so pretty. Too bad he went on a murderous rampage and killed all the kids you made with him and-eeep!!!!!!!!" Sheogorath was cut off when Molag Bal produced his still bloodied mace and charged at him, growling furiously. He tried to run but Molag Bal tackled him and was slamming him in the back of the head with his mace.

Finally when Sheogorath stopped moving, Molag Bal got off him and waited. Within moments, Sheogorath stood up and Molag Bal hit him one more time for good measure.

"Ow." Sheogorath smiled, even though the mace was lodged in his skull. "No need to get yer tail in a knot, Bal. I was just teasing."

Molag Bal ignored him and picked up the fallen condoms. He opened one and put his mouth on the opening. Then blew into it until he had a condom balloon. "The only fun you can have with condoms is this and sticking them to glass."

"Exactly!"

Molag Bal blinked. "What?"

"That's what we're going to do!" Sheogorath said, finally wrenching the mace from his skull.

"Stick blown up condoms to windows?"

"Not just anybodies windows. Mehrunes Dagon's windows."

Molag Bal grinned. "You deviant."

"To the Deadlands?"

"To the Deadlands."

They both teleported outside one of the huge spires in Mehrunes Dagon's plane of Oblivion. Molag Bal could only chuckle as they blew up the condoms.

"He's totally going to kill us."

"Possibly. This with be worth it though." Sheogorath spoke while he made his condom balloon into a puppy.

"Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be, Bal."

"Okay. Count to three and then we'll flick them."

"Alrighty! One, two……….five?"

"Three."

"Right. Three!!!"

They let the condoms fly.

Meanwhile Mehrunes Dagon was innocents starring out the window to behold his glorious wasteland. Everything was perfect. Everything was glorious! Everything was-

_Splat!_

Mehrunes blinked, unsure what was stuck to the window in front of his face. When it finally did hit him, he felt himself fill with rage. He looked down and saw two fellow Daedra princes, laughing their asses off.

"MOLAG BAL!!!! SHEOGORATH!!!!!"

The two kept laughing even though they heard him scream.

"That was the perfect reaction!" Molag Bal laughed, gripping his sides. They soon heard stomping and Molag Bal's eyes widened. "Oh shit. He's coming down! Scatter!"

"Right O!" Sheogorath saluted before breaking into a million pieces and running about Molag Bal's feet.

Molag Bal sighed then yelped. He dove out of the way before Mehrunes Dagon crushed him with his foot. Sheogorath wasn't so lucky. Mehrunes crushed all of his pieces beneath his heel.

"HO!!!!!" Sheogorath screamed appearing behind Mehrunes and grabbing his underwear. To Molag Bal's surprise, Mehrunes didn't move.

"What the…."

"He's frozen for fifteen seconds Bal. Help me with this."

"Right!"

The both pulled on Mehrunes underwear and Sheogorath began to shove in flaming dogs. Molag Bal noted that, amusingly, Mehrunes underwear said Mom on them. Aw. How precious.

"Get ready, Bal! Release!"

Mehrunes instantly came back to life and looked around, not even noticing his fellow princes behind him. Until it was too late.

They both screamed, "ATOMIC WEDGIE!!!!" And ripped his underwear over his head. Molag Bal had to laugh because now the underwear said something else upside-down.

"WOW!"

They both teleported away from Mehrunes Dagon, who was struggling to see and rip his underwear from his face.

They went back to Molag Bal's plane of Oblivion and let there laughter die down there.

"That was great, Sheo. Made my life."

"Indeed."

"When he catches us though, he's going to kick our asses."

Sheogorath and Molag Bal exchanged looks. "Who's next?"

End of chapter.

Indeed. Who is next? RxR to see who I should do next.


	3. the holidays

I'm just going to get this one going. Thank you to everyone who reviewed….

Chapter 3-The holidays.

After Mehrunes Dagon got his revenge, (Smacking both the princes into the waters of oblivion that they couldn't get out of for months) Molag Bal became bored once more.

The main hall was no fun either. It was the one place where they could all go in oblivion and have to keep the peace. It was more of an entertainment hall. Azura would decorate the hall, much to Molag Bal's distain, every holiday that humans celebrated. Christmas, Easter, Halloween (Molag Bal admits that he likes that one.) and valentines day. If there was ever a more pointless holiday, it was valentines day. He didn't get the point of trying to win someone's affection with overpriced candy and rotten smelling plants that humans called flowers. Anyone he wanted, he'd take. That's all there is to it.

His eye twitched as he entered the hall today. Azura had decorated again. Everything was so colorful that it hurt the Prince of corruption's eyes. Red and green everywhere….and was that a pink pine tree?! A florescent pink tree with little decorations all over. Bloody great. Christmas…

Azura was humming happily as he set up her decorations. Molag Bal made a mental note to taunt her about how ugly it looked when she was all done. Knowing her, she'd go into a fit and try to fix everything until even he approved. Too bad that will never happen.

He was about to go back to his own plane of oblivion until he spotted some of his more favorable company was already there. Sheogorath, Vaermina, Sanguine and Nocturnal. Those where his friends in oblivion. Shame only one of them were in the house of troubles with him. He had to put up with stupid Malacath and Mehrunes. Thank Sithis that Sheo was there to make things interesting.

They were all sitting on a rectangular sofa laughing at some joke that Sanguine just made. Molag bal smiled and walked over. He leapt over the back of the sofa and landed in-between Vaermina and Nocturnal.

"Anything interesting going on?" He asked with an amused smile.

"Bal!" Sheogorath greeted. "Good ta see ya! Jolly good!"

Vaermina grinned and scooted closer to the Prince of rape. "Nothing much Molag Bal. We had to drag Nocturnal out of her plane of oblivion. She didn't want to come."

"Too bright…" was Nocturnal's response.

"I know what you mean." Molag Bal said with a sigh. "That fucking tree is so loud that it punches you in the face when you enter the room."

Sheogorath smiles. "Thanks for the idea Bal!"

At that moment, the unfortunate Malacath walked in and the pink tree grew a fist and punched him right in the face. They heard Azura screech at the sight and they all burst out into laughter. Even Nocturnal was slightly chuckling behind her palm. Azura yelled at them to stop laughing as she tried to help Malacath up. Malacath was ripping his arm away from her but still getting the crap beat out of him by the girly pink tree. Either way it was greatly destroying any masculinity he may have left. Get help from Azura or the shit beat out of him by a little pink tree. It was a lose, lose situation for Malacath. It was a win, win for the spectators on the sofa though.

Azura came over a hit Sheogorath in the head.

"STOP THIS NOW!!!!!" She commanded in that high and mighty tone of hers.

"Hold on! It's still funny!" Sheogorath spoke trying to fend her off.

"He's a member of the house of troubles!" Azura placed her hands on her hips. "Aren't you supposed to be friends?"

"What? And they call me Mad! I can't stand that green bastard! He smells like tar and clowns!" Sheogorath exclaimed shaking his cane furiously in the air.

Just then Malacath came over with the destroyed tree in his hands. Azura took one look, screeched, and made him help her decorate the hall the rest of the day.

The whole day seamed less boring when in good company but Molag Bal's joy was short lived. The whole room seamed to get irritatingly brighter and the air became thick with tension. Molag Bal knew it was coming even before he turned to look to see who came in through the door.

"Meridia….." he mumbled with growing hate behind his voice. He turned and scowled.

There she was. So blonde and perky. It made Molag Bal sick. She was accompanied by her lesser daedra. The Aurorans.

Everyone on the sofa heard Molag Bal growl. He hated Meridia! She was too pro-life for humans and Molag bal was too pro-death for human.

They were at an impasse.

Simple to say, The daedric prince of life and the daedric prince of corruption, did not care for one another. There was no love loss between the two.

Despite this face, Meridia would attempt to become friends with Molag Bal. No one knows why she attempts this. Maybe because she likes to be friendly with everyone! Molag Bal is the only one who will not say hello to her if they pass in the hallway. He'd be more likely to spit on her than to say hello. No one really knows how his general hatred for her started. Some believe it was because of Meridia's general hatred for the un-dead. Molag Bal and Vaermina, made the first vampires. They liked there un-dead creations. Meridia hated them.

She ignored the black stare she received from Molag Bal and walked over to the sofa.

"Hello everyone!"

Everyone mumbled a hello, except Molag bal, who snorted.

"Isn't Christmas a delightful human holiday?"

"It's fucking stupid." Molag Bal spoke up rolling his eyes in annoyance.

She pouted and leaned over the sofa to loom above Molag Bal's face. "Don't be such a baby, Molag Bal. Enjoy the holiday."

"It's absolutely pointless for us to celebrate a human holiday!" Molag bal yelled looking up at her with his arms crossed defiantly. "It's about some religion they follow! It has nothing to do with us!!!"

"Oh, come on. Some of their traditions are great! Like that silly little leaf hanging over doorframes. If you get caught under it, you have to kiss the person your with."

"Aha!" Sheogorath jumped up and ran over to the two of them. Then held a small green object over Molag Bal and Meridia's heads. Molag Bal's eyes widened for a second.

No fucking way. There was a mistletoe in his hand.

"It's tradition!" Sheogorath beamed. "Kiss each other."

Meridia smiled sweetly. Molag Bal wasn't bad looking. Maybe they'd get along after this! (yea right.) Molag Bal's mouth hung open. He couldn't be serious… Sanguine even sobered up to watch this. If looks could kill, Sheogorath would be dead from the stare that Vaermina was giving him. It was common knowledge that she had a crush on the prince of rape. Watching the bane of her existence, Meridia, kiss the man she loved was worse that death! She hasn't even gotten the chance to kiss Molag Bal! It's not fair!!!

Meridia grabbed the sides of Molag Bal's face and leaned down. "It IS tradition, Bal." She close-mouth kissed his lips gently. Molag Bal growled in fury and bit her lip, digging his fangs in. She screeched and opened her mouth in surprise. Molag Bal took the opportunity to spit a wad of snot into her open mouth.

She screamed bloody murder when she felt it slide down her throat. She managed to rip her lip almost clean off to get away from Molag Bal. She left a part of it on his fang. Vaermina burst out laughing, followed by the other Daedra that were on Molag Bal's side. Meridia was in tears and the blood was pouring down her chin.

"You…You…YOU BIG JERK!!!!" She ran from the room crying her eyes out, leaving a small trail of blood behind her. Her lesser daedra ran out after her.

Molag Bal spit the remains of her lip on the table in front of them. "What have we learned?" he asked while tasting Meridia's blood in this mouth.

"Never attempt to tongue kiss you?" Sanguine said before braking into a fit of drunken' giggles.

Molag Bal raised a fine eyebrow. "Why? Were you thinking of it?"

The drunk shrugged. "After ten million beers, you look like a really pretty lady Bal."

Molag Bal rubbed his temples. "Nice to know."

Sheogorath smiled. "I have no idea what's going on."

Vaermina took this opportunity to jump up and land on Sheogorath. Then beat the shit out of him. Molag Bal crossed his arms and relaxed into the sofa.

"We have learned that human holidays are stupid."


	4. Karma

Chapter 4- Karma.

"Bal…"

"……………….."

"Oi! Bal!!"

"………………."

"BAL!!!"

Molag Bal growled at him. "WHAT!?"

Sheogorath smiled innocently. "You still mad at me?"

The prince of corruption scowled. "I'm still trying to get the taste of her nasty blood out of my mouth. Yes. I'm still mad at you…"

"aw….Cheer up Bal! I know who were going to mess with next."

Molag Bal sighed. "Oh really?"

"Yes, really." He paused for dramatic affect. "Mora."

Molag Bal lifted a fine eyebrow. "Why? He never does anything interesting. Just sits in front of that glowing screen all day, talking to himself."

"Just come with me Bal. Please?" Sheogorath tried to give him a sad look but it just ended up looking creepy. It was a long couple of awkward seconds. Molag bal was sitting down, so he tried to lean back to get away from Sheogorath's stare. However, every time he moved backward, Sheogorath moved forwards.

He finally snapped. "Sheo…."

"Yes Bal?"

"…Stop looking at me like that. It feels like you want to molest me or something."

"Will you go with me?"

"Will you stop starring at me like that?"

"Only if you go with me."

"Fine…"

Sheogorath backed off instantly. "WEEEE!!!! Horary!!!"

Molag Bal shook his head and stood up. For the god of madness, he sure knew how to get people to do what he wanted. Maybe manipulation should be added under his titles.

Sheogorath grabbed Molag Bal by the arm.

"Ta! Let's go Bal! To Apocrypha!"

When they arrived, they saw what looked like just a large library. There were cases full of books. It seamed to stretch on forever. At a small table, a couple of meters down sat Hermaeus Mora.

He was an ugly thing. His body was always shifting as if he was filled with sea water. He had two crab pinchers under his regular arms that were snapping a bit. He always trailed green goo wherever he went. There was some pooled under the chair he was sitting in now. He had six eyes, all of which were glued to that glowing screen, while he clicked away at the mouse furiously.

Molag Bal didn't know why they were going to mess with Mora. He had no problem with Mora. They never talked and hardly ever saw each other. That was mainly because Mora was always here, sitting at that table, playing that stupid game…Molag Bal believed he heard someone call it World of War craft. Mora had also received brownie points from Molag Bal without knowing it. He was walking around and Meridia had slipped and fell into his green ooze.

"Hey Bal.." Sheogorath spoke low and gave Molag Bal's arm a tug.

"Yea?"

"I feel like a pimp right now."

Molag Bal blinked. "What?"

"I have the cane, the charm and a hooker on my arm. …Ta. That rhymed."

Molag Bal blinked. It took him a moment to figure out that Sheogorath was still holding onto his arm.

"Are you calling me a hooker?"

"Shh…" He spoke butting a finger up to his lips. "We'll talk later, you crazy hooker. Lets mess with Mora now." He let go of Molag Bal and tiptoed over to the bookcase closest to Mora. Silently and carefully, he moved the closest two books and switched them around. Then tiptoed back to Molag Bal with a big smile on his face. They both teleported back to the main hall instantly.

"That was it?" Molag Bal asked annoyed. "All you did was switch a book around."

"Yes. Mora is crazy though. He'll go insane when he finds out something has been replaced and tear the hole thing apart looking to fix it."

"That's harsh…but enjoyable." Molag Bal smiled and chuckled.

"Ta! You laughed! I'm off the hook! I'm forgiven for my previous actions!"

Molag Bal rolled his eyes. No use in arguing about it.

Suddenly the hairs on the back of Molag Bal's neck stood on end. They were being watched…and he knew who it was…

"NEMISIS!!!!!" Boethiah screeched jumping out with Goldbrand at hand. He lunged at Molag Bal screaming. Molag Bal sighed and cursed under his breath before sidestepping and sticking out his tail. Boethiah yelped as Molag Bal's tail tripped him and he landed face first on the floor.

Sheogorath immediately erupted into laughter. Boethiah got up in a hurry, his cheeks beat red in embarrassment.

"Why do you do that every time you see me?" Molag Bal asked, not amused. "It's getting old and predicable."

Boethiah scowled and pointed an accusing finger at Molag Bal. "You! You, who tries to corrupt the Dunmer with your evil seed!"

Molag Bal wasn't sure if it was a statement or a question, so he lifted an eyebrow and blinked. "Um…Yes?"

Boethiah stuck his finger closer to Molag Bal's face. "You! The father of a population of mutant degenerates, made with a member of the Tribunal!"

Molag Bal twitched. "Yes?"

"You! Who corrupts-"

"Get your finger out of my face before I bite it off!" Molag Bal yelled, interrupting him. "Your voice pisses me off."

Boethiah turned red again. "Have some respect! I am a Anticipation."

"Wooptie doo!" Sheogorath couldn't be quite any longer. "A traitor, more like it."

"TRAITOR!? If anyone is a traitor it's the prince of corruption! He-"

_CRACK!!!_ Came the noise of Molag Bal's mace connecting with Boethiah's skull.

Molag Bal pulled his mace free from the unconscious form and sighed. "Let's bail before he wakes up."

"Agreed! Tally ho!!!"

They went to the far end of the main hall where everyone was. When Boethiah woke up, he'd be less likely to cause a scene there. He was very prideful and probably wouldn't want to admit being knocked out by Molag Bal.

Molag Bal parked himself on the sofa he had been sitting on only yesterday. Sheogorath took the seat next to him. The main hall was full of other princes.

Hircine was on the other side of Molag Bal, sporting that retarded Halloween deer mask. Meridia, much to Molag Bal's distain, had grown her lip back and was cheerfully helping Azura put gift boxes under that ugly pink tree. The other Daedra who occupied the room, didn't hold Molag Bal's attention too much, so he turned to Hircine.

"So…How's the hunt?" Molag Bal started.

Hircine looked over curiously. "Excuse me?"

"You know…The hunt. You're a great hunter, right?"

If Hircine had a face under that crazy mask, Molag Bal was sure he'd be blushing. Sheogorath leaned over to listen to the conversation.

"Well…yes. Yes. I am a great hunter. The greatest hunter."

Molag Bal grinned charmingly and he saw Hircine squirm a bit. Excellent... (Insert evil laughter here.) Molag Bal scooted a bit closer so their thighs would touch. "I'm a pretty good hunter myself."

"O-oh really-y?" Hircine tried to keep his voice from cracking. Molag Bal may be the prince of rape, but he could also seduce. He was damn good at it too.

Sheogorath tried to muffle his laughter. He had a feeling that he knew what Molag Bal was up to.

"Yes..." Molag Bal purred. "I've caught any prey I've ever wanted. So let's start a challenge shall we? An innocent one…. to see who, is the better hunter." He could smell Hircine begin to sweat. Aw…He was like a nerd who gets confronted by the girl he likes. He turns into a stumbling, awkward mess.

"o-o-okay."

"Good!" Molag Bal clapped his hands together. "Pick a prey."

Hircine thought for a moment. "The unicorn…"

"Okay! I've picked mine. When I say go, the first one to catch their pray, wins. Agreed?"

"Um….What is your prey?"

Molag Bal grinned handsomely and leaned in close. "If You're a good a hunter as you say you are, you won't mind not knowing what my prey is."

Hircine looked like he'd pass out at any moment because of there closeness. "Alright."

"Okay. Ready…set…GO!"

Before Hircine could even move, Molag Bal pounced on him, sending them both to the floor. Sheogorath starting clapping and laughing.

"Jolly good show, Bal!"

Molag Bal grinned down at his 'prey'. "I win."

"Molag Bal! Get off of him!" Azura commanded.

Molag Bal scowled up at her. "Party pooper." He climbed off Hircine and sat cross-legged on the sofa again.

Hircine scrambled up and shook briefly in place. "I-I'll be back!" He teleported away quickly.

"Ten hundred gold pieces say that he's going to masturbate somewhere!" Sanguine spoke, slamming the money down on the table.

"You're money can talk?!" Sheogorath blinked in awe. "I want talking money…No, never mind. It would never shut up I'm sure."

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Boethiah awoke in rage. How dare he!? HOW DARE HE?! That bastard Molag Bal and his idiotic brother Sheogorath! He had to do something to get back at them…Mainly Molag Bal…

A scream cut him off. It seamed to come from Mora's plane of oblivion. He teleported there quickly and saw Mora throwing books everywhere.

"Hermaeus. What is wrong?"

"Sheogorath!!!" He screamed. "He messed with my books! Something is out-of-order!!!"

Boethiah walked over and saw that only two books had been switched. He put them back in place and Mora stopped throwing stuff.

"It feels fixed now…"

"He only switched two books." Boethiah explained.

Mora sighed and looked around at the destroyed room. "I guess….I'll clean this up then….troublemakers…"

An idea struck Boethiah suddenly. He grinned evilly. "Mora?"

"Yes?"

"You know everything there is to know about Nirn right?"

"Correct."

"How'd you like to get back at Sheogorath by taking away his partner in crime?"

"………. I'm listening."

"Excellent…"

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Molag Bal sighed. Today was that stupid Christmas day. He was sure Azura and Meridia were going to try and pass out presents again like they did last year. No one even really wanted to take part in it, but Azura was persistent. She made everyone come. Except Mehrunes. She figured the holiday would be better without him.

So Molag Bal was seated among his fellow Daedra, being pissed off and miserable while Azura and Meridia hummed happily while passing out gifts.

When everyone had opened their gifts and were about to leave, Boethiah cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"Everyone! I'd like to announce that from this day forward, I shall have an assistant to help me with my duties and-"

"HA!" Sheogorath interrupted. "You said duty!"

That caused drunken' snorts from Sanguine's direction.

Boethiah scowled. "May I continue?"

"Yes, go ahead." Azura answered, throwing Sheogorath a dark look.

He cleared his throat again. "Yes, anyway… I would like you all to meet my new assistant. Come on out now."

The first thing Molag Bal saw was gold. At first he thought of a golden saint, but as the figure immerged, he saw that it wasn't. It had short red hair that looked beautiful to the touch and also freshly grown. The red bangs cascaded gently into a beautiful youthful face. The figure wore all white and looked quite regal standing among the Daedra.

It was a Chimer….But how?

Then it hit Molag Bal like a ton of bricks. He didn't recognize them at first because it had been so long since he last saw him.

Molag Bal's eyes widened and his lips parted to form the name, "Vivec…?"

End of chapter 4

Cliff hanger!!!!

Ta!

Remember in oblivion what the rumors, of Vivec's disappearance was? That the Nerevarine killed him or that he was taken by the Daedra.

Well, he was taken by the Daedra in my story! Boethiah and Mora to be exact.

The reason Vivec is so pretty, is because in my story, he let his hair grow out after the Nerevarine destroys the heart and goes into exile. Boethiah found him with Mora's help and made him beautiful again so he could use Vivec against Molag Bal. Understand? Good.


	5. Sheogorath Matchmaker

Thanks for all the reviews!!! I was asked a couple of questions so I'll answer those now.

Vivec is completely golden. Like a real Chimer. Tehe.

I haven't updated in a while…. I'm sorry. Work and school occupy most of my time. I also have severe writers block in almost all my stories. It sucks but I do the best I can.

Thank you for all the lovely reviews. It may get a bit serious in this chapter but that's why Sheo exists. To make things interesting.

So, I bring you the next chapter. Strait from the mind of a psychopath.

Chapter 5- Sheogorath. The matchmaker.

No one looked away. The room was filled with shocked faces and uneasy silence. The tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Azura looked ready to kill and faint. Boethiah looked pleased with himself and Molag Bal was frozen in place. He just couldn't believe that he was looking into the eyes of his Ex-lover.

Since it was so eerily silent in the room, someone had to break the tension. Unfortunately for everyone else, Sheogorath decided it would be him.

"FLAMMING DOGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. As soon as he did, they started to fall from the ceiling, seemingly out of nowhere. Meridia screeched and it all went down hill from there. They all scattered trying to avoid flaming doggie doom. Sheogorath laughed like a maniac and danced as his puppies fell from the sky.

The only ones who didn't take cover, or even move, were Molag Bal and Vivec. They were in a dead lock stare. Molag Bal wanted to look away. He wanted to lash out and strangle the chimer where he stood. He wanted to scream, to kill, to destroy something and yet he couldn't move. Vivec's eyes held him tightly in place. Unable to speak…..unable to move…..

Vivec smiled suddenly. It made Molag Bal's eye twitch. It was as he remembered him… Beautiful, pure and untainted. He instantly wished to tarnish that purity like he had so many years ago.

"How beautiful you are…" Vivec spoke for the first time he arrived.

Molag Bal's eyes widened. Vivec had vowed never to call him beautiful again. What was going on?!

He felt Vivec's eyes drawing him in and his feet began to move on there own accord. He felt himself reach out to touch that beautiful man. He wanted so much to touch him… He-

"BAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sheogorath screamed and tackled Molag Bal to the ground. Molag Bal's eyes shut involuntarily and he broke eye contact with Vivec.

"SHEO!" he screamed trying to move his face away from the floor.

"GLOMP, BAL!!!!! GLOMP!!!!"

"GET OFF ME!!!!!"

"BUT BAL!!!!! GLOMP!!!!!"

Molag Bal pushed Sheogorath off of him. "What the hell does glomp mean?!"

Sheogorath shrugged. "I hear little girls say it when they tackle someone to the floor. So, I figured I'd try it."

Molag Bal scowled and turned to look back at Vivec. Problem was, Vivec was gone and so was Boethiah.

Molag Bal screamed in rage and kicked an unfortunate flaming dog that had survived it's decent and foolishly wandered close to him. "HOW FUCKING DARE HE?!?!"

Sheogorath tilted his head and watched his brother vent his rage out on the defenseless dog. Hey, better it than him.

"Relax Bal. Go with the flow! …..Wait. On second thought, don't go with the flow. You might get pulled by the current and end up in Malacath's realm. Did I tell you that happened to me once? Funny story actually. You see, what happened was-."

"I DON'T CARE!!!!" Molag Bal screamed at him, his tail lashing side to side, furiously. "I JUST- I want to be alone!" So he stormed off and left Sheogorath behind him.

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Sheogorath didn't like it. Molag Bal had been sulking for a week now. He refused to leave his plane of Oblivion. He just sat there all day, sulking and staring off into space. He didn't even retaliate when Sheogorath had called him a "little girly man with no backbone and tasted like clowns."

Boring.

He had tried to replace Molag Bal at first but no one was willing to follow through with one of the daedric princes' schemes. Azura hit him when he asked. He guessed that she still hated him. Oh well! He didn't like Malacath and Mehrunes would only smack him into the waters of oblivion, so he couldn't ask anyone else in the house of troubles. He tried Sanguine but the prince was always drunk and couldn't help plot anything that didn't have to do with sex and drinking. So he turned to the only person he could ever talk to other than Molag Bal.

"HASKILL!!!!!!!!!!!"

Haskill flinched. "I'm three feet from you sir. No need to shout."

Sheogorath raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about Haskill? Three feet is absurd! Two makes much more sense…. You only have two feet!" He grinned stupidly.

Haskill sighed dejectedly. "Do you need me for something, sir?"

"I WANT MC NUGGETS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Haskill blinked. "What?"

"Wait…. That's not what I was going to say. I wanted something else. Oh! Don't get me wrong. I still want the Mc nuggets. Make sure you get on that now. Or I'll kill you…."

"Err. As you wish sire." He turned to leave.

"Where ya' going Haskill?! I'm not through talking to you!"

"I thought you wanted Mc nuggets sire."

"What the hell are Mc nuggets?! Your talking crazy, Haskill!" He waved his cane about in the air furiously. "Stop making things up and help me think of a plan!"

"……….. A plan for what, my lord?"

Sheogorath blinked. "A plan? You have a plan Haskill? What is it for?"

Haskill's eye twitched. "You wanted me to help you plan something."

"When did I say that?"

"A few seconds ago."

"Really? I don't recall that." He spoke, looked down at his broken pocket watch. A little miniature him popped up on it's glass. "Hi me!" he waved at his image.

Haskill hit himself in the forehead when Sheogorath wasn't looking at him. "Sire…"

"Help me plan Haskill." He spoke tearing his eyes away from the miniature on his watch. "Bal's no fun anymore."

"Is this all about your brother? Why don't you just sensibly talk to him?"

"That's a stupid idea, Haskill."

"….As you say, sire."

Sheogorath snapped suddenly and a goat materialized in the room near Haskill. "I got it!"

"A goat, sire?"

"No, you bloody fool! An idea! I'll just sensibly talk to Bal!" He cheerfully got up from his throne and walked past Haskill and the goat, which was currently gnawing on the ends of Haskill's coat.

"What is the goat for, sire?" Haskill called after his master.

"What goat? There's no goat. You're a madman Haskill." He laughed and left the room.

Haskill sighed. "Indeed. I serve you." He spoke as the goat bit him.

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Sheogorath was on his may to the main hall to see if Molag bal had left his plane of oblivion. But he suddenly heard voices and not the ones in his head either. He quickly and ungracefully dived behind a curtain.

"Don't get any idea's Mora." Came Boethiah's voice. "It's nothing personal against Vivec. My nemesis brought it upon himself."

"Really? I believe kidnapping and brainwashing IS against Vivec. Did you ever stop to think that there may be some things that Vivec needed to remember!?"

He heard Boethiah scoff. "I gave him the power to live among the daedra. I granted him an eternal life as my personal servant. I erased any memory he had of Molag Bal. I say that he's better off. Plus, it's driving Molag Bal mad."

Sheogorath blinked. Even he wasn't stupid enough to speak up and reveal his location though.

"I didn't know you'd go this far." Mora sighed. "I would have never helped you locate Vivec if I knew that this is what you were going to do."

"Shut up! Here he comes."

Sure enough the sounds of footsteps approached and walked past his location.

"Master…" He heard Vivec speak, "Is there anything else you need me to do today?"

"No, Vivec. You preformed your tasks perfectly, like always. You may spend the rest of the day as you wish."

"Thank you master."

He heard footsteps approach again. This time when Sheogorath knew that Vivec was rounding the corner, he reached out and grabbed the chimer. He instantly covered his mouth and dragged him behind the curtain with him. Vivec looked at him with wide eyes, not instantly recognizing his capture. When he did, his body relaxed only a bit. Sheogorath put a finger to his lips.

"shhhh…" He whispered. "The jumbo potato's will hear you…"

Vivec lifted an fine eyebrow but didn't say anything.

When Sheogorath felt Boethiah and Mora leave, he pulled himself and Vivec out from behind the curtain.

"Lord Sheogorath." Vivec bowed politely. "Do you need me for something?"

"No…why?"

"You just pulled me behind a curtain. What for?"

"I did no such thing. Your imagining things."

Vivec rolled his eyes. He'd obviously had been warned about this Prince's madness. "As you say, lord Sheogorath." he bowed again and turned to leave.

"RED LIGHT!"

Vivec stopped and turned around. "Excuse me?"

There was a long pause. "Okay." Sheogorath smiled. "GREEN LIGHT!"

Vivec didn't move and inch. He was terribly confused.

"Idiot! Your supposed to move when I say green light!"

"Do you want something?" Vivec asked. He was getting annoyed but did his best not to show it.

"I want lots of things! Like Mc nuggets. That reminds me. Where is Haskill with my Mc nuggets!?"

This was getting ridiculous. Not to mention on Vivec's last nerve. "I'll be going now."

"Wait!" Sheogorath reached out and grabbed Vivec's wrist. "What do you think about Molag Bal?"

The reaction was instant. Vivec's cheeks were instantly stained crimson red. "Excuse me?!"

"You heard me. What do you think of my beloved brother, Bal? Don't be shy now. I wont kill you if you say you hate him."

"I don't hate him!" He answered quickly. His cheeks got redder, if possible. "I don't even know him."

"Want to?" Sheogorath spoke with a wink.

"I…. The master doesn't like Lord Molag Bal. He said that he was no good."

"Well, Boethiah has a stick shoved so far up his keaster that not even the raw power of Mehrunes could make it budge." He saw that Vivec was trying not to laugh. "Maybe you should talk to my beloved brother. Form your own opinion."

Vivec sighed. "There is something charming about him….alluring…."

"Will you meet him somewhere tonight? Like…say the courtyard at midnight?"

Vivec was silent for a few moments. He bit his lip, obviously conflicted. "The master goes to bed at eleven so…." He brightened a bit. "Okay. I'll meet him."

Sheogorath burst out laughing. "Boethiah goes to bed at eleven?! What is he, twelve?!"

Vivec sighed but kept the smile. "Thank you, lord Sheogorath."

"Yea, yea. Thank you for the wonderful black mail. Although…it's not black….or in any physical form of mail…… Thank you anyway! Now I'll be going!"

"Tell him that I will see him tonight!" Vivec called after him.

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Coldharbour. Delightful as always this time of year. With the sky being fire and all….

Sheogorath knew he had no time to watch the people suffering or draw a smiley face on the already desecrated imperial palace. He needed to talk to Molag Bal.

He walked up to the throne to see a very bored and aggravated Molag Bal.

"Stop sulking in your emo corner Bal! I have good news!"

Molag Bal grunted in response.

"It's about Vivec." Sheogorath spoke in a teasing tone. He saw Molag Bal's ears perk, just slightly.

"Oh?" The king of rape drawled out sarcastically, trying to pretend to not be interested. "What is it?"

"What is what?"

"The news." Molag Bal sat up a little straighter. "And before you ask me 'about what,' it's about Vivec."

"Do you care brother Bal?" He asked with a sly smirk. He wanted to hear Molag Bal say it.

"Not really." The prince shrugged. "Just curious." His body language told a different tale.

"Well then. It's not important then. How about we get some Mc nuggets Bal!? I'm hankering for them!"

Molag Bal instantly tensed. "No. Tell me about Vivec."

"Ah! But I thought you didn't care." He wagged a finger at the king of rape.

"Sheo…" it was a low warning.

"Do you care or not Bal? If you don't then I'll take my business and Mc nuggets somewhere else. As soon as I get my Mc nuggets that is. Where is Haskill with my goddamn Mc nuggets!?"

"Fine!" Molag Bal yelled standing up and grabbing Sheogorath by the collar. "I care! Are you happy now?!"

"Yep! Well, I would be if-."

"If you say one more thing about Mc nuggets, I'm going to kill you."

Sheogorath smiled. "fair enough. It seems that Boethiah erased all memory Vivec has of you."

Molag Bal's eyes widened and he let go of Sheogorath's collar. "Mother fucker."

"Aw. Look at it a good way Bal. It's a second chance! He doesn't remember your marriage! The kids he massacred! Everything involving you has been erased. Boethiah just did you a favor. Do what you do best Bal and seduce."

Molag Bal let an evil smile grace his lips. "That was a rather intelligent moment you had, dear brother."

Sheogorath beamed. "Want to play light-bright with me Bal?"

"No." He blinked. Then grinned again. "I do, however, want to get back at Boethiah."

"HUZZA! Were back in business!!!"

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Molag Bal met Vivec at midnight. In the glow of the moonlight, Vivec was beautiful. Molag Bal swallowed the lump that had formed in this throat. Why was he so afraid? He was the king of rape, the prince of corruption and one of the house of troubles. He shouldn't be afraid of anything!

"Vivec." he greeted the chimer when he came closer. "You look….beautiful."

Vivec blushed and made his eyes shoot to the ground to avoid eye contact. "Thank you."

Molag Bal took a deep breath. "Listen…I have things to tell you."

Vivec smiled sweetly. "Oh?" His heart began to flutter. Was he going to say that he liked him?! That would be the best!

Molag Bal took one of his hands. "You hate me."

Vivec's eyes shot up to Molag Bal's. "What?"

"A long time ago, I wronged you. You vowed to hate me forever and curse my name. Just because you don't remember doesn't mean I'll lead you on. I'm not sinking down to Boethiah's level."

Vivec blinked confused. "Why would you tell me that?"

Molag Bal grinned widely. "I feel like being honest today. Lucky you." He turned and began to walk away.

Vivec pulled on his hand and made him face forward again. He instantly embraced the king of rape. "Thank you….for telling me the truth. That was the fastest way to my heart."

Molag Bal felt a bit awkward but hugged Vivec back. "Perhaps I'll try it more often."

"What about my master?" Vivec asked after a long silence. "He might make me mortal again."

Molag bal laughed and flexed his fingers. "I can take care of that. You'll serve me now. As for your old master…." he laughed and held Vivec close. "He's getting a good lesson in karma."

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Boethiah awoke to a strange smell. It smelt like some kind of chicken being fried. He sat up in bed and came face to face with Sheogorath.

"Goddamnit! Sheogorath! What are you doing in my room!?!?"

"MC NUGGETS!!!!!!!!"

"Hun?"

WHAM!

A mountain of Mc nuggets buried Boethiah where he sat. Sheogorath giggled with glee and danced around the Mc nugget mountain.

"How was that sir?" Haskill asked coming out from behind the door.

"That was splendid, old chap."

"one favor, sir?"

"Ask away, dear Haskill!"

"Please… make the goat go away." Haskill tried to tug the ends of his coat from the goats mouth.

"Awwww. But it likes you."

Haskill sighed. It was going to be a long day.


	6. Whar's the bear?

Holy……Crapola!

I'm so happy I've had so many reviews! I feel loved. Writers block is a scary thing, but I'm working hard and trying my best. I figure I'll tout my computer around while I'm on the go and when I have spare time, I'll write. I've been living out of my room and my boyfriends room for a while now. I Haven't had much time to write. I am sorry! (Please don't kill me…)

Anyway, I figure this story needs a dose of my usual insanity and I feel the need to act retarded. I do have to say that one of my more favorite reviewers for this story is an anonymous reviewer called, Small Alien. You always boost my moral and make me smile with your comments. So, I will dedicate this next chapter to you! Thank you for the smiles and the laughs.

Chapter 6- Whar's the bear?

Sheogorath laughed. Most would say that this was normal. Only this laugh was not the stereotypical laughter that his realm had gotten used to. It was a cold and calculating laughter… Well, as calculating as the God of madness could be.

Haskill stood still while he watched his lord laugh overdramatically by sticking his cane in the air and holding it toward the sky, as if he was laughing in the Sithis' face. He wasn't sure what triggered this. He was just coming to tell his master that Lady Syl was afraid that the new "addition" to the household was going to kill her. The addition, being the goat. (That Sheogorath had affectionately named Frank.)

When he approached and called out to his master, he started to laugh manically and here he stood……twenty minutes later…… He was waited patiently for his lord to calm down, but there seemed no end in sight. He hated to interrupt and he knew his lord may be cross with him, but he was starting to get a headache..

"My Lo-"

"What is it Haskill!?" Sheogorath interrupted. "Can't you see I'm plotting?!"

Haskill blinked. "What are you plotting sir?"

Sheogorath paused. "I'm not plotting anything. You hiding something for me, Haskill?"

"You just said you were plotting and-"

"Your talking' crazy lad! I don't plot! Plotting is for plants."

Haskill resisted the urge to rub his temples. "Whatever you say, sire."

"Oh! That reminds me Haskill! Have you seen Bal lately? Oh, He's in such a good mood! It warms my heart ta see my brother so happy!"

"I'm glad for you, sire."

"Oh, I'm so happy….I could summon Frank."

Suddenly the goat appears over Haskill's head and lands on him with a thud. Haskill groaned and Sheogorath did a crazy little jig in joy. Frank began to eat Haskill's coat.

Sheogorath suddenly stopped dancing and looked completely serious. "Haskill…."

Haskill struggled to get the goat off of himself. "Y-yes, sire?"

"I suddenly have one of those headache's with pictures……"

"….Do you mean you have an idea sire?"

"That's it!" Sheogorath smiled and walked past the still struggling Haskill and Frank. "Ta! I'm off to see my brother! Don't forget to water Frank and feed the plants!"

Haskill sighed and the goat was now trying to eat his pants.

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Molag Bal smiled as he waited for Vivec to finish getting ready. He had no idea why the ex tribunal god cared about what he wore everyday. No matter what it was though, it pleased Molag Bal.

Molag Bal was looking toward the door that Vivec would come out of but he could feel eyes upon him. It was not Boethiah… He was still trying to find his way out of a Mc Nugget avalanche. He realized, a second too late, who was staring at him….

"BAL!!" Sheogorath screamed in Molag Bal's ear.

Molag Bal's eye twitched but he held his composer. "What?!"

Sheogorath stared at him for a long time. Molag Bal could have sworn he smelt wood burning as Sheogorath though of a response.

"Uh…… HI!"

"Hi…" Molag Bal answered and turned his attention back to the door.

"Oooooh! Waiting on yer lady!?"

Molag Bal glared. "Shut it."

"No need to get so anal Bal. That's what you got Vivec for!"

Molag Bal snorted at that joke's bad taste. "For Sithis' sake, Sheo. What do you want?"

"Who said I wanted anything?" he asked innocently.

Molag Bal saw through it. "You always want something."

"Awwww." Sheogorath crawled up into the seat with Molag Bal and sat on his lap. "I just wanted to be with my beloved brother Bal."

Molag Bal stared at him like he was crazy, but then reminded himself that Sheogorath, was indeed, a mentally insane retard. "Sheo…"

"Yes, Bal?"

"Do you remember that talk we once had about personal space?"

"The whole thing about it being called, your 'Personal space bubble?'"

"That's right. Guess what?"

"What, Bal?"

Molag Bal sat up suddenly knocking Sheogorath to the floor. "Your invading my personal space bubble. Back off." then he sat back down and rested his feet up on Sheogorath's butt.

Vivec came into the main chamber just then. He wore pure white robe that clinged in all the right places. Molag Bal tried not to gape. Vivec approached and crawled up into Molag Bal's lap.

"Hey!" Sheogorath protested, still in the same position. "He's invading your personal space bubble!"

Molag Bal kicked him in the tailbone with the heel of his boot. "He can. Not you though."

Vivec smiled and started to play with Molag Bal's hair. "Thanks."

Molag Bal muttered something illegible as his cheeks gained a small red tinge to them. He wasn't used to this.

"Can I get up now?" He heard Sheogorath ask.

Molag Bal scowled and went back to normal. "And loose my foot rest? If you must!"

Vivec giggled and got more comfortable on Molag Bal's lap. "You seem to get along well with your brother, love."

Molag Bal's eyes widened for a brief moment but he cleared his throat.

Sheogorath smiled and grabbed Molag Bal around the shoulders. "Yes indeed! Bal and I love each other!"

"Stop touching me." Molag Bal instantly reacted.

"Oh, what you going to do about it, Bal?"

"Take your arm off me, or I'll break it off."

Sheogorath let go. "Fair enough!" He paused, then started to balance his cane on his palm. "Bal, I'm bored!"

Molag Bal paused. "well, I'd tell you to go play with yourself but-"

"Silly Bal! I already did that!"

"……Eww."

"Anyhow, I want to go play more pranks!"

Molag Bal rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around Vivec's waist. "Then do it."

"Do what?" Sheogorath asked.

"….Play pranks on the other Princes."

"Great idea, Bal! Lets go!" He reached up and grabbed Molag Bal's arm.

"Wait! No! I want to stay here!" He seriously wanted some alone time with Vivec. He'd never admit that however.

"Ah, come on Bal! Bring yer wife! Come on!" He teleported away, taking Vivec and Molag Bal with him….to the main hall.

Sheogorath forgot to calculate correctly and they were all suspended in air for a brief moment before crashing to the marble floor. Sheogorath landed on his head, Molag Bal landed on his ass, but he caught Vivec in his arms before the beautiful chimer hit the ground.

Molag Bal got up and then placed Vivec on the ground safely. He looked at Sheogorath who was now trying (and failing) to do a handstand. "Dumb ass. Why'd you bring us here?!"

Sheogorath ended up doing a summersault and failing strait on his back. "Where here to tease Malacath!" he spoke very loudly and pointed to the only other figure in the hall besides themselves at the moment.

Malacath looked over, only hearing his name being called and sighed in dejection. "Only his two idiot house-mates and that sugary tart. "What do you want?" he asked storming over and attempting to be intimidating.

Sheogorath stared at Malacath with a blank look before replying. "Wow! Look Bal, It's Dan Haggerty!"

Malacath raised an eyebrow as did Molag Bal. Vivec just looked confused.

"Who's Dan Haggerty?" Vivec whispered to Molag Bal.

Molag Bal thought for a moment. "Uh… I keep thinking about this weird show that Sheo made me watch once. I think it's Grizzly Adams."

"What are you talking about?!" Malacath replied trying to keep his wits about him. (if he had any.)

Sheogorath ignored him. "Hey Dan! You still got that bear?"

Vivec looked to Molag Bal again for answers. Molag Bal just shook his head. He was just as lost as anyone.

"ARE YOU A RETARD!?" Malacath screamed as he lost his self control.

"Don't worry Dan. I'm sure he'll turn up."

Malacath turned red. Molag Bal knew what was coming and he took Vivec's hand and led him out of the way.

"SHUT UP!!" He took out a large blade and struck the ground near Sheogorath's feet. The mad god moved with ease from the path of destruction. Malacath was easy to defeat when you got him angry.

As they watched the battle unfold, Molag Bal felt a warm pressure being applied to his hand. It was only then he realized that he was still holding Vivec's hand. He instinctively tried to pull his hand away but Vivec held it tight. When Molag Bal looked over, Vivec was smiling at him. He couldn't help but smile too….When Vivec saw him smile, he blushed a bit and gave his hand a squeeze.

"HOLD STILL, DAMNIT!!"

"WHAR'S THE BEAR!?"

Molag Bal squeezed his hand back. Things would be fine.

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I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I can't take credit for the grizzly adams thing though. My friend ZarathePirate came up with that! It was so funny, I had to put it in.


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